Mood: Depressed/suicidal
Guess who got her heart broken....Again? Yeah, me. Skye broke up with me. I guess I can't be too surprised, everyone has been riding on her to do it...But, it just hurts. I really thought she was the one...I thought she was my one true love, the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Now I find out she's not and....It hurts. It happened yesterday, but it just really set in. I'm single...I can't believe it. No wonder though...I'm nothing short of monsterous. Who would ever love someone like me? Ha, I'm actually surprised she didn't break up with me sooner. She should have. But, all her promises now become lies...She promised she'd never break my heart, or hurt me, or break up with me. She lied. I give up on love. Fuck it. Who needs love? I'll go die alone in a house full of cats or some other random animal on top of a godforesaken hill with a dead lawn. I don't know what to do now...For the past 14 ,months, I've been thinking...This is it, this is the person I'm going to build my future with. Now, she's gone. Well, no, she's not gone...She's just not mine. I really want to kill myself...I have a blade and everything...But I can't. It's my sister's birthday today I can't kill myself until Monday at the earliest because my sister's party is on Saturday and I don't want to ruin that by dying and everybody has to pretend to be sad if I'm dead...Sunday, I'll be at home...And I don't want to die at home. My mum might walk in before I'm beyond help and then I get to live. And then, there is Monday...Which, feels forever away. It's not a for sure yet...I have to see what happens between now and then...But, I think it will be...I just don't want to live anymore.
