I cry through my skin.

Feb 25, 2006 at 09:00 o\clock

:-\

Mood: Depressed, hungry

 I have wasted my vacation working! I have 180 dollars to show for my work...But no enjoyment. I hate money. It's stupid.  Oh, and not one but TWO boys have decided that they like me. Well, one has decided to become an obsessive stalker with a deep burning passion for me...Which I find creepy. Of course all this happens when I have a relationship. Why didn't guys ever notice me before I was happily in love? No matter...Skye's moving over the summer. We'll probably have to break up because of the long distance thing*sigh* Oh, and I'm cutting again. I thought busy hands meant a busy mind? My hands are busy but my mind is idle enough to breed mass ammounts of suicidal depression!!!! I was seriously considering cutting my throat while I was working today...But I decided not to because then the kid I was watching would have been left alone. What a screw up I am. Such a screw up with so many messed up emotions and absolutely no way to bring them out! Ah, shoot me now.

Feb 20, 2006 at 20:47 o\clock

Dotdotdot

Mood: Lonely,depressed

 I know I used to write here nearly every day...But I'm finding it harder and harder to put everything inside of me into words. I know it seems stupid...But when I need to talk the most, I can't. I'm on break from school this week...I guess I'm happy about that. I'm going to babysit tonight...I don't really like babysitting...But, it's better than sitting at home alone wishing I had friends. My girlfriend was supossed to call me to hang out today, I don't think she will...She never does when she says she will. Even if she does I can't really hang out with her because I have to go work.

 As far as my emotional world goes...I'm still borderline suicide...I'm still cutting...I'm still bulimic...And I'm still taking diet pills. I guess I'm still just a stupid girl screwing herself over for the future. Not that anyone really cares...No one reads this anyways.

Feb 9, 2006 at 01:14 o\clock

Mmm...

Mood: Depressed

 You know, I've decided a few things since I've last posted;

1.Pain is a state of mind...One which I intend to overcome
2.Throwing up really isn't that hard...
3.Cutting doesn't hurt, but it doesn't make me feel better
4.I can trust no one and nothing.

 Yeah...I'm depressed...I'm off cutting for right now...Throwing up constantly...I've lost 16 pounds(be proud) and I still hate the way I look. My friend and I were going to do tweaker drugs...But then Skye found out and it caused this whole huge spat.

Feb 3, 2006 at 01:08 o\clock

Nothing really

 Skye tried really hard to be a sweetheart to me today. She tried to clear my head of all the worried I have. She's such a luv...But, poor thing, her mum has breast cancer!! I feel so terriable for her...I wish there was something I could do...

Feb 1, 2006 at 05:28 o\clock

Cuts.

 I HATE MY STUPID LIFE WITH SUCH A BLOODY PASSION!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, hey, how ironic...I have my bloody passion all over my shirt. I cut myself pretty deep...Fuck it. I have no use for life. Maybe I'll just cut my wrists. Who'd care if I did?