I cry through my skin.

Mood: Jittery, suicidal, angry..

 I hate myself so much. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate myself for doing terriable things to myself...I hate myself for being too leanant...I hate myself for thinking too much, I hate myself for not thinkign enough...AND I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR TAKING ALL THOSE GOD DAMNED PILLS!!! I'm not cut out to be a 'hardcore' anorexic pill abuser. I've taken over 500mg of caffiene in the last 12 hours...And I seriously can't handle it. I want to tear off my fucking skin and stop all feeling. I have $90 worth of diet pills...I took two pure caffiene pills, two apeitite surpressants and one apeitite surpressant/caffiene pill/metabolism booster.Never ever ever ever do that. NEVER. I swear, you'll kill yourself later. I feel like kill myself right now for it. I feel like I'm going to faint. I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMN ME!!!!!!!

Mood: Depressed

 Want to hear something ironic? The more weight I lose, the worse I feel about myself. The worse I feel about myself, the more I cut. The more I cut, the less I eat and the more I excersize to keep myself from cutting and the more weight I lose. This cycle sucks.  I've started taking diet pills...Stacker 3. So far, no big difference but today is the first day I've started taking them. I'm really depressed and I don't want to go to school tomorrow.