I cry through my skin.

May 11, 2006 at 23:14 o\clock

1 Step forward 7 Steps back

by: CapturedMoonLight

Mood: Guilty, depressed, unsure

 You all remember that girl I spent the weekend with? Okay, well, I let her down easy...Telling her how I didn't want to be involved with her romantically adn how I hope we can be friends but I'm still not quite ready for a relationship...And now she's back in the psyche ward. Why? Why would someone do that? Why would she do that directly after I let her down...Knowing that I'd blame it all on myself? Would it be egotistical to say it is my fault? I feel like it is. I try to be happy...I make a concious decision to not allow pain affect me...And then...This. Why? Does every higher power WANT me to go slit my throat? Do they WANT me to hate myself? It has nothing to do with me...I mean, my friends situation...It's not God punishing me...It just feels like it is. This could have coralation to my rejecting her...But...I'm not entirely sure...All I know is...I want to cut so badly right now....Good thing I have homework to do instead and then I get to go hang out with my best friend...She'll help me figure things out.

Comments for this entry:

  1. Miss260903 wrote at May 12, 2006 at 00:18 o\clock:Hi Kat,

    I\'m not going to agree with everyone that you are beautiful as I haven\'t seen you. I can tell you that you seem to be very sensitive & loving. You must be beautiful on the inside as you are so caring about other people.

    I hope you have a good weekend. Enjoy your time with your best friend. Just try to believe your dad when he says you\'re beautiful & try not to put yourself down....Eventually you may be able to look at that young lady in the mirror, & you may not love her, but you just might start to like her. :-)

    I\'ll check on ya again soon....

    ~Teri~

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