Butterflies and Hurricanes

Mood: Nearly numb
Listening to: Look What You've Done - JET - (Album GET BORN)

I am fluttering through a fierce storm

I am tired and my wings are torn.

What brings me here?  Love, emotion, devastation.  Deceipt, lies, treachery, betrayal.  Disbeleif, sadness, loss.  Anger.  Insanity.  Foolishness.

Not one muscle inside me can I move

The heavy pressure upon my soul

Holds me down and I’ve lost control

And in the dark

I move slowly

 

To the world outside they see a smile

Hiding turmoil and sadness that wells deep down

As the days go by and inside me a frown

And in the dark

I move slowly

 

I want to step outside of these shoes

Tired of the hurt, tired of  these blues

I want to run away not sure if I should stay

But in the dark

I move slowly

 

And slowly I try to make my way

 

I wrote this poem, lyrics, whatever it is, on 28 May 2005.  I found it today, forgot that I wrote it, was reading e-mails, letter sent between me and my soon to be ex-(cheating) husband.  I though that I'd been happy then.  I remember now it was when I was wondering why I was still with him, I knew something was not right.  I knew there was a high possibility that they were all lies.  Now I know they are.  The truth came out.  Visciously assaulted after all the faith I held in him.  She put the knife in him and turned it.  She wanted to cause ruin and she has.  It will become clear as you read on.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the last year, maybe more. And I want to get off.  It's making me sick.

 

I beleived in true love.  I beleived in him.  He was honest, caring, loving.  Never known anyone like him.  And he has destroyed my life.  I don't know who he is.  I feel lost sometimes.  He lied and lied and lied.  God was he a good liar.

 

 

Let's run over our ex's! What fun!!