Beefy Or Peachy

Well hubby and I managed to get out to the Improv this afternoon for a 3 pm show they added forr Jeff Dunham as his other shows sold out. I'm glad I rested those 2 days so I could get there today. I wasn't in any significant pain until about 20 minutes before the show ended, but I managed to last to get a few more laffs. Fortunately they have an elevator up to the 2nd story where the Improv is located. The place was packed and a nice afternoon was had by all those who attended. I even had 2 brandy alexanders! They were so weak they didn't even bother me which is unusual.

Hubby and I split the Improv Nachos and just tried to forget for awhile all that has been happening. Before we went, hubby helped me as my hair color hadn't been touched up in 2 months so I looked respectable, lol.

Now home to rest awhile and just chill out with my ice bag, oh boy!

May Peace, Love, Laughter, and Courage follow our hearts and footsteps,
Aly

Mood: laughing

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

Norm's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer

Says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."

Norm's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer

Says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the power went out.

Norm's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Norman says.. "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Mood: laughing

What Starts with F and ends with K?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade"

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over
and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all
The time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is
different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on
shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of
your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy -age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she
takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired
of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with
a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he
wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are
still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.
I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and
smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore"
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone
else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still
says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left
him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her
old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and
little stars come out of you." (what an imagination)
Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't
think it's gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.
But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once
talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest
was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor
was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked
what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just
helped him cry"

A couple has been married for 50 years. One day they went to a doctor because they recently had been forgetting things and they were afraid that they would leave the stove on. The doctor said, “There is no way medically, but you could always write notes to help you remember things.”

That night, as the wife was getting up, her husband asked what she was doing. She replied, “I was just going to make some ice cream.” The husband insisted that he would make it. As he was walking into the kitchen, she called out, “WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!”

“Okay dear,” he replied.

“And sprinkles too!”

“Okay dear.”

From the kitchen came sounds of banging pots and pans and nearly twenty minutes later he came back into the room with bacon and eggs. The wife said “So? Where's the toast?”

Check out the newest link to Likebetter.com and see what answers they come up with about you!

Have fun all!

This is a true account as recorded in a police log in Sarasota, Florida.

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice. " I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" 

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get the key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why... For the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12 packs of beer in the front seat!

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The Sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair and carrying a hand gun. No charges were filed. 

If you're going to have a senior moment, make it a memorable one!

Mood: Thanks Tee

Mood: giggling

"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma".