Beefy Or Peachy

Well I couldn't make the first appt yesterday as I woke up feeling so nauseous but I was able to get to the 2nd appt at 7 pm last night so of course the radiologist won't read them until Monday. Then the results will be dictated and sent to my surgeon which will mean another trip to hear what is going on.

Hubby is going to be taking over a Manager's team for a month so I am hoping not to be too much of a burden now as he has worked so hard for this opportunity to come to him. I also know I will need another surgery and I'm not quite sure how that will be worked into all the things we need to deal with this month. We definitely need a guardian angel this month!

Well I hope you are all enjoying your weekend and the loved ones in your lives. Always remember to treat those you love as the special people they are in your life. When you get a chance treat someone you hardly know with kindness as well. Dang that makes you feel good!!!

Hugs,
Aly

Well I guess the MRI has been approved but now they have to find a place where they can get me in relatively quickly as I can barely get to the bathroom and back now without experiencing excruciating pain. I can't take Vicodan all the time as I don't want to become addicted to that and have that to deal with.

I called my friend and asked if she could come and stay today and tomorrow just to be here in case I run into serious trouble. Hubby is going through this management assessment testing and I am trying to avoid having him have to miss work. I was crying going to sleep and started to fall asleep and startled awake just trembling all over. This madness has to stop. They have to find out what is wrong and fix it as soon as possible as it is getting worse.

Another day almost exclusively in bed and talking to family and friends and surfing the web or playing spades. Anything to take my mind off of this pain. I feel like I have nothing left to deal with this. I am just totally exhausted.

Worn out and frazzled,
Aly

Well in order to keep me somewhat same hubby wheeled me into the Casino tonight for dinner and to play awhile. I won enough to stake him some money to play Texas Holdem and to keep us out for a few hours. I was not a big winner but it was nice not to look at these walls again tonight.

I am so socially deprived and can't drive and can't do much housework yet that the days and nights seem endless.

Some big mucky muck is visiting his office tomorrow so we came home at a decent hour so he can be well rested for tomorrow's festivities at work. Friday he has his management assessment test with some outside consulting firm. Still working on getting promoted before the summer is over!

May you find some Bliss in your Life,
Aly

Well the surgeon had to examine the knee before he could request another MRI and here it is after a month since I had my arthroscopy and I am still in pain and still on crutches!!! Most people are way on their way to totally recovered by now with that procedure. I told him I felt something snap when sitting down on the bed about 3 weeks ago so his answer was to try another cortisone injection.... sigh.

No patience left as it is ruining the quality of our lives after 7 months of this. I will be calling my insurance company myself if I don't get the ok tomorrow. I simply can't take it anymore.

I hope you are all do a lot better then we are at the present time!

Aly

Well I called my surgeon's office yesterday and left a message about the increased pain and I called again this morning only to be patronized by his office staff. I just finally put it to them that I can't and won't continue to live my life in pain and on pain meds and mostly in bed. Something is still wrong and they need to do another MRI to find out what and get it fixed!

Finally I got a call back from his asst and she advised me to be in his office Monday morning before 9 and I will be there alright. It is not my knee that is cranky it is ME that is cranky at this point. Enough already. I don't want to hear it might be tough to get the insurance to authorize another MRI since the surgery has been done. I already informed them that I believe I reinjured the knee one night just from the shear flash of pain I felt when it happened. I am not a novice with this as I had this same knee surgery done 7 years ago and I could walk on it within a few days and it has been over a month since my surgery was done.

If things don't go as we think they should we will get another opinion. Hubby and I have had our lives disrupted over this for 7 months now and I am no longer feeling 'nice' about the slow progress and now the increasing pain.

I know my crankiness is showing and I apologize but pain has a way or eroding one's spirit.

Have a good weekend everyone!
Aly

Well yesterday I tried walking a little around the house without my crutches and did I ever pay for it last night and this morning. Now I had similar surgery on my left knee 7 years ago and it never gave me this much trouble healing and regaining strength. I think the cortisone shot just masked some of the pain but as I really try to walk on it it reminds me it is still injured. If I am not better by tomorrow I will be calling the surgeon and telling him so he can order the MRI. We have been waiting to see a great improvement but it has not yet happened...

Well I have myself on bedrest again today with ice and anti inflammatory medication and I still may need to take a pain pill. This cycle has to stop. I need to be and feel well again.

Stay safe, find peace, live a loving life,
Aly

Well on one hand I feel that airing this kind of material could serve a purpose in raising the consciousness of the powers that be to the fact that GUN CONTROL in the US is very lax and needs to be revamped. I do NOT believe everyone should have the right to bear arms. The fact that the world is becoming an increasingly unsafe place for our children and ourselves, I do believe the people need to take a stronger stance with the people in power making the decisions about who should be able to purchase guns.

The other side of me is the feeling side that can only feel horror if I had just lost a child during this massacre and had to witness seeing this man on TV spewing his hatred. If I had a choice I would choose not to watch it. I chose not to watch it as I already believe very strongly that he should never had the ability to purchase the guns period. I also believe there were many warning signs that the University and the people around him should have reported him to the proper people, the police, anyone who could assess this young man's ability to stay sane or not. If he was on medication then most certainly a counselor must have known this man was a threat to others as well as to himself!

Silence is NOT GOLDEN when a threat is at hand. Think of all the lives that could have been saved if people didn't joke about his hateful ways but had kept complaining about their concerns and their safety to the proper authorities.... I am not a firm believer in blame and shame, however, I am a believer in doing the right thing even if you might be going out on a limb to do it. Sometimes our lack of action is worse then anything in the end. It is the same thing if we let a wound go untreated.. it only gets infected and spreads.

As a people we need to be standing up more for what is right and what is wrong here in the US. We are at a crossroads on many issues now facing this great nation. How long will everyone keep silent and just continue letting needless crimes and bad decisions be the faceplate for this great nation?

May courage and strength follow our deeds,
Aly

Well our 2 year contract finally ended with Qwest and we have now signed on with T-Mobile with the Motorola Magenta Razr phone. Hubby got the black Razr and his plays music so he's all happy. These phones do so much it will take me awhile to learn all the features, lol. I did manage to enter my 5 Favs that we can call anytime at no charge so we have dropped our long distance on our home phone as we no longer need that service. Now we just have to wait and see if we have a lot of dropped calls or if the service is as good as the ratings indicated. We had many dropped calls with Qwest and our phones were antiquated and no fancy features.

Well that is our new toy to learn how to use !

One of the meds I had to take recently is making me feel abit funky so I'll sign off for now,
Aly

With all the news stories and articles online and in the papers and on TV we are left wondering " if this young man was so very troubled and that some of the school professors and counselors were aware of this fact " then why wasn't more done about this to either help him or stop a nightmare event that occurred perhaps due to lack of action by those who could have either helped or prevented this act of violence?

I read where they said they did all they could do and 'there is no handbook or manual for this sort of thing' and while I agree with that statement to a point, all Universities should have some training for this kind of potential threat to their schools and students! This is not the first time there have been killings at a school. What does it take in order to make those people in power at these institutions to take precautions and perhaps even to run classes on this kind of threat?

Perhaps it takes an event like this to wake people up to what a violent world we are living in. With 'the right to bear arms' and how easy it is for people to get their hands on them it seems, then we can only expect more of these types of events. Other countries have taken much stonger stances on the ability to get firearms. When is AMERICA going to wake up and see that guns can't be in the hands of everyone who wants one? I think we need much stricter regulations on guns and the ability to get them. I hope I am the voice of many and not of the few!!!!

May all the families that lost their son(s) or daughter(s) find some peace somehow. Right now they must be outraged and in shock over all this senseless and perhaps preventable massacre!

May Love and Peace find a way to their hearts,
Aly

Well hubby and I always settle in together before the tv promptly before 24 starts each Monday, lol. When the show goes on break we are in mourning for awhile. Next week I think Heroes starts up again so we will be taping one and watching the other show. The rest of the shows I don't really watch faithfully. Once in awhile we'll watch some Deal or No Deal and of course the Arizona Diamondbacks baseball games.

Well off to play a game of spades before sleeping.

Stay safe and say a prayer for all those young people killed today and especially for their families who must be in shock and terrible grief tonight.

Aly

I just spent several minutes posting about my latest news and again it didn't post. It is so frustrating that it makes me feel like 'why bother?

I'll see if this posts before I waste more of my time..........

Well I am feeling more hopeful about my knee as the pain is finally decreasing some however due to all the antibiotics I've been on I now have a systemic yeast infection which is making me extremely tired besides uncomfortable :(.

I have called my PCP and advised her that the over the counter meds and acidopholous are not working and will she prescribe me something stronger. I am longing for a day of feeling 'well.'

I am sure my hubby is waiting for that day as well as he must be sick of me being laid up or sick for so many months.

Today is his day off and I still can't be up and about. I feel like I'll be sleeping again shortly and I've only been up a few hours.

I have also heard the news about the massacre at VA Tech and feel so outraged and sad at the same time. I hate guns. Always have and always will. So many parents must be out of their minds with worry who have their sons or daughters at that University. The violence in this world is so out of control it is mind boggling.

Take time to give someone you love a HUG today,
Aly

Well the dr removed the sutures from the left incision for the second time and now I am just playing the waiting game to see if the cortisone injection helps my knee pain. If not back for another MRI and more surgery! I can only hope that that is not necessary. I am so tired of this problem.

We had quite a dust storm in the area tonight. Visibility was zero in some parts of the valley and we were traveling home when it hit so we got off the highway with the tumbling tumble weeds and took the frontage road home.

Well I guess we are going to watch ' Blood Diamond ' tonight if hubby ever finishes his game!!!

Peace all,
Aly

Well I guess with all the memories of what this day holds for me topped off with having to see the surgeon again, I had a very fitful night of sleep and moments of anxiousness this morning as I was aware I was in and out of sleep and not a peaceful sleep.

I really don't want more surgery on this knee. I just want it better and move on from all of this but I don't think that is going to be the case. I don't like whining and I don't like how I am feeling. So what does one do with so much time alone and no way of socializing in the world?

Thinking about my future and what it holds in store for me, and for us. I just have to find a way of spending more time with others. By the time hubby gets home I am so starved for attention and he is ready to unwind from his day so the two don't often mesh :(.

I am also worried about his health too as he has been having problems himself and is often very stubborn about taking any medications for them. Sigh. It is just a tough day period.

Well off to get ready to see the surgeon and get these sutures out again. Will post more once I know more.

Peace
Aly

April 12th is my son's birthday which of course is a day of celebration for us however it also marks the death of my brother-in-law and that is a day of great sadness as he just dropped dead on a racquetball court. We were celebrating my son's birthday years ago when our phone rang and my mom was still alive then and upon answering the phone she said, "Zig is dead." I stood there in shock for a moment and then asked what she was talking about as I had just spoken to my sister a few days prior and he was ok. She said there was no warning he just died of a massive heart attack on the court while playing. They did manage to revive him for a few minutes at the hospital. Long enough for my sister to see him and to say goodbye. He could not speak - only a tear ran down his cheek before he passed on.

For years my son could not celebrate his birthday as he loved his uncle and he never quite got over the news either. I think finally he is starting to get past that a little bit. I pray that is so. So as I lie here getting ready to sleep I have all these thoughts running thru my mind.

Tomorrow I have to go have the sutures removed again and let the dr know how my knee has been feeling since the cortisone shot on Monday. There is no change. I still can't walk on it so I know I will have to have another MRI done and most likely another surgery. We are quite stressed here at the moment...

On that note I must try to settle down for the night... 

Aly

After reading Driftings' post I started to think about the subject of our reflections in the mirror and whether or not the mirror has the capability of showing a person's 'total beauty?' That total beauty encompasses the beauty of their heart and soul that eminates all around them and adds beauty to those people who are just around or near them. You know, not everyone can be a size 0, and frankly I wouldn't want to be because if you become seriously ill you have nothing to live off of as there is nothing extra to pull from. We have been brainwashed so long to think that only stick figures are pretty that we have forgotten to appreciate our curves as well.

If we learn to love who we are, how we are in the world, well then and only then do we possess a secret inner beauty about life and our existence in it.

Have a nice evening or morning folks wherever you may be!
Aly

Well I will try yet again to post and see if it goes all the way to publishing it. It has been a time of more pain and more trips to the drs office as the pain in my knee has worsened again. The physician's assistants kept telling me it was because I haven't started PT yet and I looked at them and said, "what part of I can't even walk on it don't you understand?" I still got well the knee is just cranky from not doing the pt. Well even as a lay person I know when a body part is inflamed or not and when you have this amount of inflammation you don't tax it even more by doing therapy.

The surgeon came in to look at my knee and noticed how much swelling there still is and tenderness and said it was too soon to do another MRI after the surgery and he wanted to give me another cortisone injection to see if it would calm things down. I thought to myself ... oh boy, another waiting game. So on Thursday they are finally going to take the second set of sutures out and he's going to see if I am any better or if he has to order another MRI for me. I have lost faith in his asst's as they both were telling me the wrong thing about doing therapy at this stage. He said absolutely not as it might do more damage than good at this point!  So our waiting continues, the pain continues, the not being able to do much continues and my patience is wearing thin as I have no one here to help me again and getting around to do things for myself is somewhat taxing. To top things off tonight I was running a low grade fever and my stomach was upset. The knee is not red or inflamed on the outside and I'm still on 2000 mgs of keflex a day so I don't see how I could have an infection anywhere in my body!

Well enough bitching about this as it serves no purpose but to let me get some things off my chest, sigh.

I hope all is well with my friends and guests who come here.

Peace, love, and courage,
Aly

After going to church this past Palm Sunday and feeling the love and warmth of our church community I realized how very much I missed not being able to get there for the past several months due to hubby working on Sundays. Now that his schedule has changed and he has Sunday and Monday off we can now reconnect with our church friends and time to worship.

We always are received with so much love and kindness that I often don't understand why but I know it feels wonderful to be blessed by their presence. Hubby and I helped out with some education projects and I helped with answering phones when we lived in that area. I guess they haven't forgotten. They also embrace our marriage even with our age difference and see it as a positive thing and never look down their nose at us but exactly the opposite. How wonderful it is to feel so welcome and cared for!

So I may still be hobbling in but I will get there this Easter Sunday. I may not be dressed in Easter finery but I will be there and happy to take part of this celebration of Jesus. We will have company again Saturday thru Monday with my sister and aunt coming up to spend time with us and with her daughter so I'm sure we will all spend some good times together. My aunt has told Tariq she will help him with the laundry and that is music to his ears, lol.

A time to be thankful for all that we do have

A time to be kind to our fellow man

A time to make those phone calls we have intended to make

A time to celebrate God's love for us

A time to cherish all children with love and respect

A time to honor our life.

Peace, courage, and Love,
Aly

Both hubby and I have had to face great challenges with my health and he with his job both focusing on either failure to accomplish something or a huge disappointment. How do we cope emotionally and physically without breaking down and being too angry over what has happened but rather find a real goal to work towards that will soften the blow and get us on the right paths again. We had started to let everything work on us to the point that is was harming our relationship as we were at each other for the silliest of things that normally we would laugh off - but have found that is not so easy to do in the face of negativity and disappointment.

My knee continues to hurt when I walk on it so I must call the doctor and see if they want me to get an MRI done or what to determine if there is a tear. It certainly feels like it.

My girl friend came over this afternoon and brought lunch and just visited with me for awhile and then we played games on the computers. It helps to have company now and then for sure. I managed to get the clean dishes put away and the dirty ones in the dishwasher but that was all I could do standing up. Hubby grumbled a little while doing laundry but not in any serious way, lol.

Our cat Jordan continues to howl at the bedroom door where my aunt stays when she is here. He loves her like he loves us and he's letting us know he's not happy she's not here. After he's done sulking I'll reopen the door to her room after a few more days.

Well my tummy was upset but has calmed down some so I guess I will try to get some precious sleep.

Sweet dreams to all,
Aly

Well day two of suddenly being left to take care of myself and doing the best I can under the circumstances. This will be day 2 of bedrest and anti inflammatory medication to see if that will actually help the pain I am feeling on weight bearing or if I have retorn the left meniscus in my right knee again. If it is still as painful next Monday I will insist they take another look at the knee before any pt starts as this pain after surgery is just not right.

Hubby and I are enjoying the time alone in the evening and that part is nice to say the least. We do so love our aunt being with us - but a larger space would be nice for long term visits from anyone. My sister and aunt from Tucson are wanting to come up this weekend to visit us and my sister's daughter who also lives in the Phoenix area. I won't be able to wait on them but the extra bedroom is there for them to use. I imagine they will come up on Friday as my sister's work week ends on Thursday.

Well that's it for now folks...

Keep a smile in your heart,
Aly