Beefy Or Peachy

Well I managed to get through an entire day of getting around more and of course my knee was sore but I was doing ok until I went to get into bed. I guess I didn't square up exactly and sat down a bit crookedly and I had a hot flash of pain in the knee I just had the surgery on and in exactly the same place where I had the excruciating pain before surgery. I am praying that I didn't cause any further injury and that is is just supersensitive to my movements as I couldn't bear the thought that I had injured this knee!

I have done a bit in the house today with my aunt's help in the way of general easy housekeeping and laundry but other then that I have been in bed with ice on my knee and taking an anti-inflammatory medication. I hope it feels much better and soon!!!

Today has been a day of many phone calls both personal and business related so that has taken a lot of my time. It was very nice to talk to my son earlier this afternoon as he always cheers me up :). I hope I do the same for him too.

Well hubby has tomorrow off so I hope to get my hair cut and perhaps we could all try going to a movie to get out of the house. Sunday there is a dog show across the street so perhaps we'll go to that to do something different for a change. I am a cat person through and through and our cat Jordan will know we have been to the dog show once we get home and his nose might get out of joint for a minute or two, lol. Monday is hubby's birthday so we need to go out to celebrate another year of his life... he told me I would be happy to know he found a few more gray hairs, lol.

Well he will be home shortly so I will close for now,

Aly

Well my aunt is here until next Tuesday and I don't know how I will manage without her. I realize how empty my life is when she isn't here. I am alone so much during the day and when hubby gets home at night he often wants to unwind in front of the tv or computer. I am sure this is a problem for many couples when the partner does not work. I am socially starved and I am not quite sure how it is all going to change. I will have therapy on my knee sometime when the dr says it is ok for me to do and perhaps I will meet some people there. We only have one car and it has a lot of miles on it so we don't do alot of extra traveling with it as we are nursing it along until we can get another car.

I am not a 'crafty' person and due to my shoulder pain I can't knit or crochet anymore. I have started reading books again and not just exclusively relying on my computer and that is a good thing. I use to love to read and after a computer became a part of my life I seemed to give that up. I think hubby and I need to take a class together somewhere to create a common hobby other then related to tv's and computers. He use to sing with a group and that took up a lot of our time but he's not doing that right now and I do miss that terribly.

It is fair to say we have had a rough 6 months dealing with this injury and subsequent surgery. It has taken a toll on both of us. Our nerves and compassion seem rather frail and thin at the moment and we are rubbing each other the wrong way more often then I care to admit. I will be glad when normalcy in our relationship returns. If it were to stay this brisk I would not survive it emotionally.

Well it is late again and I only had 3 hours of sleep last night so I guess I will sign off now.

Peace, love, honor, and courage,
Aly

Well I have been shot up in the knee and then sutured together again and have to follow up with them next week. No PT until this has healed up more but at least now I can walk a little and not have to stay in bed all the time, yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

After the dr's visit we went to breakfast at IHOP and that was nice for a change. We were up very early so now I guess we will rest for awhile and then see what the afternoon brings. I am so grateful I didn't have to go to an ER room as that is always a long drawn out ordeal.

Praying for my hubby to have a spectacular interview and to secure this position. He is so very deserving of this position.

Hugs,
Aly

Well since the incision won't stop leaking small amounts of joint fluid whenever I try to get up and get around the surgeon is going to resuture the left incision this morning in his office to try and get me back on the right track of healing properly. It will be a big relief to be able to stand up and not suffer from it. I have not been able to take care of our home and need help with many tasks regarding my personal care. Hubby is looking a little rough around the edges and needs some rest also.

His interveiw is this afternoon for a Manager's position. I am praying that this will be the opportunity he has been waiting for so patiently these past few months.        

Will write more later if time allows.

Let peace, love, courage, and compassion guide your actions,
Aly

Well since the incision won't stop leaking small amounts of joint fluid whenever I try to get up and get around the surgeon is going to resuture the left incision this morning in his office to try and get me back on the right track of healing properly. It will be a big relief to be able to stand up and not suffer from it. I have not been able to take care of our home and need help with many tasks regarding my personal care. Hubby is looking a little rough around the edges and needs some rest also.

His interveiw is this afternoon for a Manager's position. I am praying that this will be the opportunity he has been waiting for so patiently these past few months.        

Will write more later if time allows.

Let peace, love, courage, and compassion guide your actions,
Aly

Well I am trying to do as the doctor said and not bend my knee hardly at all. I am keeping it straight as often  as possible. It appears to be healing together abit better this evening but I am sure tired of laying on my tushie for so many days.

The antibiotics are wiping me out as I was talking to my aunt one minute this afternoon and then fell asleep for a few hours just like that. So rude of me but I could not hold my eyes open. She went to the casino for a little while this afternoon and had some fun :).

Hubby and I are going to watch a Ron White comedy DVD tonight and try to share some laffs together as he's back to work tomorrow morning bright and early.

Peace and Courage,
Aly

Mood: totally frustrated

Well after seeing the surgeon yesterday I wasn't feeling too down hearted, however, after this morning and a turn of events, I have already had my afternoon cry. I went with my hubby this morning as he had an appt with our PCP and while there I simply asked if she could tell me how to take off and put on the surgical strips for me. Well she leaned down and started to remove one of the tapes and pushed abit on the side of it and blood and pus came runnning out..... ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. I didn't feel so hot before I went and after that I didn't feel well at all. She took a sample to be cultured and then cleaned the incision with alcohol and put on new strips but felt my dr. should have checked that out a bit more closely yesterday.

Since then we got home and I was so tired from the ordeal and only 3 hours of sleep that I fell asleep. While I was sleeping hubby and my aunt went out to take care of a few things. I woke up to a note and called to see when one or both of them would be back. Hubby was only moments from the house. I used my crutches to get to the bathroom and while trekking there I felt something run down my leg!!! Well I looked down and this orange looking fluid was dripping thru the strips.... sigh. I dabbed it clean and got myself back onto the bed and we called my surgeon's office. In the meantime my PCP put me on 2000 mgs of Keflex daily for 10 days.

So I am to let the nurse know if I develop a fever or redness around the incision or experience pain in the calf. I can't get it wet at all and I have to wrap it up if I shower. I am to stay down as much as possible and try to keep my leg straight. What a lovely weekend while I lie here leaking joint fluid, merde.

Monday I will be sutured again in the surgeon's office and so therapy will be put off even longer since this incision is being so obstinate. As tears welled in my eyes and I was feeling completely overwhelmed I realized I just wanted so badly to be able to walk without aides and do the things in my house that need doing.

Frustrated to the max...   

Aly

Well later on today will be packed with things to do so this is just a quick post before going to sleep. My friend had 2 of her pre-op tests done today before she gets scheduled for lap band surgery. It was difficult for her to get done but now she can move forward. I pray she finds the strength to do whatever else it takes to get this surgery done as she also needs 2 knees replaced and they won't do it until she reaches a certain weight. I don't think living alone makes it very easy to watch your diet. Instead, I think she eats out alot bc she doesn't just want to cook for herself and bc she has become so handicapped.

Hubby fixed us a nice dinner and then we all watched 'Casino Royale' which was a very good Bond movie. Since I slept til 2 today out of sheer fatigue of course now I am having trouble sleeping but I must as I have to get up earlier today.

I hope your nights and days are filled with kindness and love,
Aly

Well now that I am feeling abit better I have started to compile a list of POGO Usernames to submit to other Pogo members to ask if they will send out their free passes. We each only get 3 per month to use so I will have to ask quite a few members.

I have sorted out from the requests the usernames that are there, but frankly there are more email addresses then usernames. If you are really serious about wanting a pass then ONLY submit your Pogo Username for a pass.

I will work on this project over the next week.

May good will and love follow your heart and footsteps,
Aly

Well I am still on crutches and I think I will be for awhile longer as when I have even attempted to put my weight on it it feels as if the 'nuts and bolts' are missing! Not a very comforting feeling I must say. Thursday is my appt to find out about how extensive the rehab will be and based on that I guess is when my aunt is leaving. As usual, she is not only a tremendous help, but a source of inspiration and love. I am so lucky to have another person treat me with so much kindness and love.

I hope we can venture off the the hairdresser's today as my bangs are out of control and need help, lol. I need a 'beauty' treatment for sure.

I seem to be in a weird sleep pattern of sleeping 3-4 hours then I'm up awhile and then back off to sleep. I'm sure this will calm down over the next few weeks. If I move wrong my knee wakes me up.

Well I will write abit more later today. I again must stress that for Pogo Passes, I don't need email addresses, I NEED POGO USERNAMES ONLY. I am not yelling but somehow I must get people to see that this is the only way I can pass on to other members to send out passes once they are issued new ones. I apologize for the delay, but I have had my hands full recovering.

Keep your spirit bright and your love and courage at hand,
Aly

Well my sister and my aunt arrived this past Wednesday and left tonight around 7:30 pm and just arrived back home in Tucson a short time ago. They brought quite abit of food and helped out around the house so my hubby could have a break. While he did get a break on cooking and caring for me all the time he then had to get use to having our house full of people for 5 days straight which he did find difficult to manage. If we owned a large home that would be different, but we don't. We did however manage and I was thankful and grateful for the company!

Our cat Jordan also loved all the extra attention he got as well. He is not such a 'fraidy' cat anymore, lol. He is so much company and always good for a laugh or two at least a few times a day. I realize as I'm typing this that I am straining to see so I guess I need to have my eyes checked and get some new ones, oh joy!

We enjoyed a nice buffet dinner out tonight and then we all went our separate ways. They said they might come up again next weekend for a few days, we shall see.

Well since I am quite tired tonight I guess I will say 'goodnite.'

Aly

Well I see my surgeon on Thursday for my first followup appt after surgery. I am sure physical therapy and rehab of the knee and surrounding muscles will begin. My aunt and sister leave tomorrow but I'm hoping my adopted aunt will stay awhile until I can get a start on my pt. Since it is my right leg I don't think I'll be driving right away. My knee still has the word 'YES' written on it and it hasn't come off yet, lol.

I must say the doctors and nurses at the AZ Ortho Surgical Hospital were excellent as was the care. I managed to get out of the house for a little while today with them and that felt nice. Hubby returns to work tomorrow and I shall miss him greatly.

I will write more tomorrow :)

Hugs,
Aly

Well while I am of course sore from the surgery I am no longer in tremendous pain . He fixed the tears and damaged cartilage, cleaned up some of the arthritis and I can already feel the difference. The surgeon just called me to check on me and let me know I am to schedule a post op appt with him within th next 7-10 days. I have to leave the iodine wash on my leg for two days and no showers for two days either. My hair should just look lovely by then! I will wash up in the bathroom and make the best of things as I am so grateful this is done!!'

Well I am still a bit zoned out from the demerol so I guess that is all for now.

Peace everyone,

Aly

Well my aunt called us from Florida Friday to see how we are managing and before we ended the call she said I'm going to see about booking a flight out if that will help you both. She called back and asked if it were alright to fly in on Sunday. Well we had been talking about a week from today but good thing hubby called back to confirm which Sunday as she is arriving later on today around 430. On Wednesday my sister and aunt had planned to come up to help out and to visit so at least they can all visit and maybe help take some of the stress off huby for a few days.

We've been renting comedy shows this weekend to try and stay laughing whenever possible. Good thing the cleaning crew came when they did as I never let my house go like it was when they arrived. I would have been mortified if the house wasn't in order at least when they arrived. I'm sure they'll pick up after themselves while they are here.

Hubby has to work today and tomorrow and then he is off until next weekend. When he is near me everything is alright in my little world. I love him so much :).

Have a good day folks,
Aly

Mood: hurt, mortified, disgusted

I can't even repeat his sister's words of hate and malice directed towards the both of us as it was too disgusting to repeat in here. How he ever managed to survive his family and turn out to be a loving and compassionate person is testimony that miracles do exist.

I am having trouble erasing her words from my mind, and my heart with regards to what she thinks of me. I know I should probably pray for her soul but the fact that she wishes a horrible death for her own brother simply makes that impossible for me to do so.

His family hated his choice of marrying me due to my age and lack of monetary stature in life. I am not an Egyptian princess and can only offer him a life of love for as long as I live. If she writes him again he is going to get a restraining order against her. We don't deserve the hate and malice that has been directed towards us. We get this simply because he hasn't followed the family's footsteps where money rules their world.

I am left speechless whenever I read her emails. I won't ever look at another one again.

Well a team of 3 people from Lucy and Ethel's cleaning service arrived today before noon and spent almost 2 hours dusting, vacuuming, washing floors, cleaning tiles, both bathrooms, cleaning ceiling fans, dusting picture frames, cleaning all the counters in the kitchen, the drip pans on the stove and much more. They weren't cheap but they even asked me if it was ok to add me to their prayer list at church which was very sweet of them :).

My sister called tonight to say she and my aunt Charlotte are planning to come up early next Wednesday morning to help us out after the surgery. I think her intentions are sincere this time but I'm not sure if my aunt's health will hold up.

I know I sound like a broken record about the POGO passes but since people are still sending me their email addresses, I must say this again. I DON'T need the email address, but I DO need the POGO username in order to send any passes once I get more from Pogo.

May Peace, Love, and Courage follow our footsteps,
Aly

Well as a treat and relief for both hubby and I we are hiring 'Lucy and Ethel' housecleaners to come in to do the heavy duty cleaning for us. We have never been in this situation before so we have never had anyone come in to help us. Usually, no matter what the situation has been, between the 2 of us we have been able to keep up with things. Not so right now.

So tonight was spent in cleaning off counters, throwing out things that could be thrown, changing our bed and the rest is left for them. They send in 3 people and supposedly are done in an hour. Perhaps so, we shall see.

We might need to get them once more after my surgery and then we should be all set. My gf and I did what we could to help hubby with folding clothes and sorting things that could be thrown out or put away.

Now we are all waiting for 24 and Heroes to come on and hopefully we will get to bed a bit earlier as I will have to be up and dressed before they get here. I did ask my gf to come over as I feel kind of vulnerable not being able to get around much. I'm sure out cat Jordan will hide himself accordingly as he hates strangers and vacuums, lol.

I'm very tired.

Aly

After my fall tonight I was still in shock from it happening and from hearing the 'cracking' sound as I landed on the bed. I could not stop crying as now I know there is more damage and this time to the back of the knee so I'm not even sure he can repair it, or if I will need a knee replacement. My left knee which I had surgery on in 2000 started to hurt tonight after the fall and I just couldn't bear anymore. I called one of my sons just to hear his voice and hear the love in his voice to get me through the moments. After listening to me I could hear him in tears and wishing he could fly out to hug me and help me through this, however, I know that financially it is just not possible. When I am feeling stronger which I hope will be tomorrow, I will call him to thank him and plead with him not to stress out over this. He has plenty to deal with in his marriage as it is.

The 13th just can't seem to get here soon enough.....

Well it seems like I am no longer safe to be at home alone until the surgery is done as my knee gave out completely and if the bed had not been behind me I would just be lying on the floor until my hubby got home tonight. I need some help but I am not sure who is available to do that for me right now. Hubby has already taken off the week of my surgery and he is in the process of being considered for a manager's position and I won't ruin his chances at getting that.

Perhaps my adopted aunt can come out if she's able. She was ill just before she had a lot of company arrive so I don't know the shape she is in now. My gf is also on crutches and really can't help me much. I was in such shock at feeling it give out and hearing what I would consider a cracking sound that I just couldn't stop crying.

Hoping my guardian angel will lookout for me... as I sure need it right now.

NOTE for people requesting POGO passes: You MUST give me your Pogo username, NOT your email in order for me to find and get passes for any of you. Those waiting please understand I am not doing so well at the moment but I haven't forgotten your requests.

Aly

Well even in the midst of all that has been going on here hubby and I found some moments of Bliss this morning in a hug and holding space that lifted me to a place where all is alright with our world no matter what we are facing. It is such a place of Bliss that it is hard to leave it as you wonder if you can find it again so richly. I believe we can. When he holds me for any length of time, my body just starts to relax on its own. I feel safe. I feel loved. I feel protected. I feel rich beyond mere words for our relationship together. It is not always perfect and we have our bumps in the road of life, but in the quiet time of holding one another we find our way back to our Bliss.

Although I still am pretty much bed-bound until this surgery is done, I am ever so grateful to have such a loving husband and soul mate in my life.

May you find Bliss in your life,
Aly