April's Awesome Autumn/Annotations
After near drought ended March, heavenly rain ushered in our stunning April. The earth was washed clean and bright. The rain took all the dust off the flora and fauna!! Now, what gorgeous days, so picture perfect. During March the leaves began falling all too soon because of the deathly dry, so we see naked trees with their spindly branches swaying in the gentle breezes. Pre autumn leaves scattered endlessly across the yard promoting thoughts of a huge, necessary clean-up but no enthusiam can be raised for such a task. Lets delegate that to nature's broom - the wind. Sure to be back any day now!
Since my last posting have had a wonderful blessing in health matters.
One of the medicines that I had to swallow tasted so bad! A massive dose of self analysis forced me to see my lack of belief in God's promises was one of the causes of my desperate anxiety. Fear can truly make one so sick!! We are told men's hearts will fail for fear of those things which will come upon the earth. Thats where I was with respect to my own destiny and that of my children. Stress in my work and unconscious stress over my spiritual committment all added up to my physical and nervous collapse. What will be my earthly end? Delving into my own existence, I had to face reality about self and motives. My daughter also suggested perhaps I was a control enthusiast!! That set me back a tad!! More self examination into the depths of ME!! What am I really like in my family's eyes, and how do I stand in God's eyes? The mind has a major hold over our health. Thoughts can play intense tricks. At one point when I was really ill I thought I would have a mental break down as I could not stop my thoughts. There was never any silence in my head. I asked myself if I was going mad. In tears, I cried out to God to rescue me from myself and banish all the confusion in my brain. I started to really read His promises. I wrote some out and left them in places about the house, to remind me of His greatness and His power. The heavenly Bank of Power, Love and Compassion, to which I had access, but somehow had lost my ability to make a withdrawal from the Master Banker's rich and merciful account. Wow! What a wonderful Heavenly Father we have. The power of His word and prayer, along with readily dispensed forgiveness - what a combination to restore health.
My days begin with this - Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path. There is nothing that I cannot get through in a day while I leave my hand secured in His. He promised, I will never leave thee or forsake thee, so the leaving would have to be mine, if it occured!! Each day is an adventure as I gain more physical strength and learn to rely explicitly on God. Seeing my prayers answered, and trusting that faith is gaining in size, greater than that of the mustard seed. Jehovah is a strong tower into which the righteous may run!!
