March's Musings
Mood: reflective
Listening to: thankfully, a silently beating heart
At point of writing I am struggling with another bout of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Have been on this battle ground since early December. Thought I was enjoying a victory however, the enemy reared his ugly head and down I am with a weakness I am stunned by. My heart pounds with palpitations so weird and scary, so very tired, no energy and suffering such dreadful insomnia. Some mornings I do not want to rise out of bed because when I do my heart will start to go crazy. Then anxiety arises and I feel like I need to empty and already empty stomack. Fear is an enemy we all encounter frequently. But to my shame, I should know better because the Best Book tells me that perfect love casteth out fear. Where is my perfect love and devotion to the Provider of this miracle love?
I am physically ill, my body tells me "I cannot go on". But is the basis of my fatigue due to a battle for possession of my heart and Soul? I am forced to focus on this issue and plead mercy. I am aware that there are two powers who preside over all world affairs. The Great God of Heaven who is Almighty and the evil one who was ejected from the eternal courts of heaven who majors in fighting for our souls. But thanks to God, He is more powerful and has become the Winner in the battle over my Soul. Just today!!
There will be a recovery period for my health but by prayer and supplication I can feel peace with my heart. Night time is the worst. It is dark and many spiritual battles are fought in the dark as blackness is the devil's best period.
God is Light - The Father of lights. He created all light!
I cried this morning as I endeavoured to share these issues with one of my daughters. Confession is good for the Soul albeit very difficult and painful to acknowledge. So through the day I pray for strength, and claim the promise, "As Thy days so shall thy strength be." I have proved this one over and over. Praise God. At night I will be claiming, That thy sleep will be sweet." Slowly but surely I will become the possessor of that perfect love that casts out fear, when my belief triumphs over unbelief and my faith has grown larger than a mustard seed.
