Belfast today

Mood: Hungover!
Listening to: Watchin telly

 I feel so bad today, Yes the hangover and everything that comes with it!

I really think the OH and myself should stop drinking, were pretty lethal when we do, we end up yelling and shouting at eachother and its really not good! Most of the time we are great, even when we do have a drink we are great most of the times but then there are other times when we really fight it out!

I hate feeling this way, like everything is my fault and trust me its not! I really would love someone to talk too, my friends all have there own problems and i feel alone! My OH thinks i should talk to him but how can i whenever it ends in tears!

Just dont know what to do, feel like taking myself off somewhere and being alone for a while! Although i that wont make me feel much better!

Mood: bored
Listening to: or not listening to my brain telling me to go home and sleep

Glad that weekend is over to be honest! Was not the best! Feel really wrecked today! Was up 3 times last night with a nightmare! Wasnt the same one but they where all about something falling on top of me ie chairs, the wall caving in etc etc! I dont usually get them that bad and iv realised that whenever i eat cheese they're worse so i dont touch cheese now! But i must not be able to eat tuna either because i had tuna sandwitches last night and i had them the worst i had done in a long time! Strange! I think if i was my boyfriend i would have really lost it last night but he was very good and cuddled me when i awoken screaming and dripping with sweat! Its very irritiating and im starting to dread going to bed! Even though in general they are not that bad, i can go months without having one! It just frightens me when i do have one! Id really like to get to the bottom of it! My sister is almost 16 yrs older than me and she gets nightmares similar! Its really odd! Quite disturbing!

Anyway feel absolutely wrecked today so im taking it easy in my course! Hopefully ill get to go home soon and sleep for a while! I can barely keep my eyes open! Gonna go get some refreshments!

All keep blogging when i get the chance!

Peace

Mood: looking forward to the weekend
Listening to: another tutor barking orders in my class

Spring is definately not in the air where i am at the minute! The hills are only just becoming clear after being covered in snow!Have not blogged in so long iv been so busy! From the view in my new flat i can see our mountain and it looks very bleak i have to say! Although at the minute i am at my computer course which i started a few mths back! Iv stopped working for a while and iv went back to studying!It suiting me so much more atthe minute! With being practically non stop since the start of the year with getting flat arranged and to be honest we still havent got everything finished! Although it is looking a lot better than it was before hand! We really have made some great changes to it!

Looking forward to this weekend! Last weekend was St Patrick's day and it was a good night! We're pretty much skint at the minute so we couldnt really get out and celebrate but we had planned a quiet night in with a few drinks and just watching some telly! Just as we were getting settled my boyfriends younger brother called up, we thought he was visiting relatives and he wouldnt call up, plus we had already told him that whenever he does want to come up he should ring or text us! But ofcourse his battery was dead! Anyway he called and the night wasnt going too badly! My boyfriend did get him a hard time for not ringing but the rain was coming down hard outside and i didnt have the heart to turn him away so we ended up having a night with him and even though it wasnt the way we had planned it it was still a fun night! Although had a really bad head the next day!

Boyfriends not feeling himself today so when we get home im going to clean the house and let him put his feet up! We have a half day tomorrow so we can take it easy for most of the day tomrorow!

Anyway i better get going! Not sure when i will blog again but now i that i am on this course hopefully it shouldnt be too long!

Bye

Mood: good

Cant really believe that this year is over! Well i mean last year! It wasnt a bad year i must admit and i am truly thankful for that! Although i am glad to see the back of christmas for another year! Who isint?

The day itself was fine! We had a really nice day, we slept late lol and then got up and opened our presents and just had some time to ourselves which was nice, it was our first christmas living together! Anyway we went to my mums first and then my sister and her husband came and we went to theirs for dinner! It was really nice she put a lot of effort it for us coming and i could really see that!

We did end up staying the night, not before we got through a lot of booze and laughs! It was a really good night and i am glad that we did stay even though her husband and i dont really get on! It was great!

On new years eve we had a night planned of it, we were going for a meal and then walk through the city of party goers ending up at his dads to ring in the new year but the weather was so bad most of the events all over england and irealnd were cancelled because of the really high winds and rain, then we realised that getting a taxi back late that night would cost a fortune! So our plans were cancelled and we spent the night at my mums with my sister,brother and sister inlaw along with my parents! It was a good night and we had booked a taxi for 12:30 which was way too late! Our house in only around the corner from my mums so i knew it wouldnt cost as much but we booked it too early when the night was really only starting!

Now its the new year its just been really busy! We are moving into our new flat tomorrow, we have most stuff moved over already, and we have to be out by monday because the people who are moving into the house are moving in this monday! We got lots of money as christmas presents which has been a big help!! We needed so much for the flat!

It is exciting! I am really looking forward to our first night in the new flat!

Anyway not sure when i will get the chance to get back on and blog, today is my only day in work this week and then i am off for a while but i am sure there will be some days ill be in!

Happy New Year to whoever reads!

Mood: tired, giddy

Well today is my last day at work, im taking a few weeks off so that i can get the flat sorted! Cannot believe this is my last day before christmas! I still have a few things to get lol

Had a really bad day yesterday and the blogigo server was down according to my laptop! Worst day i think iv had! I just told everyone that i was taking myself off on christmas eve and that i wasnt coming back until the new year, that way i would skip all the hassle and i could be by myself which is just what i wanted to do! Even the bf was worried about me!! I am so lucky to have such a great family, we had a chat and i had a chat with the bf and we sorted a few things out! I was just sick of being miserable all the time and feeling unhappy and i dont normally feel that way and i knew that i hated it! Feeling a bit better today though after we had a chat the bf and i had a quiet night we didnt talk much and i was glad we actually had a quiet night in without an argument and if i could feel there was one brewing i diverted it which is what i should do in future! I was just sick of the arguments and i was starting to feel really miserable in myself, i even wanted to take our christmas tree down! We're so cold with having no oil and heating but that wasnt really bothering me, it was just feeling coldness in my heart and i hated that feeling! i hated the numb feeling i had towards everything and i just wanted to sleep! I am glad we had a chat and that i am feeling alittle bit better today! I still want to get christmas over and done with although i am looking forward to the actual day when i get to see my little nieces and we go to my sisters for a huge feed! The bf is actually looking forward to it as long as i can get my brother in law stinking drunk lol When my sister phoned yesterday to see if we were keeping warm i just told her that we wernt going and that i didnt care what the bf was doing and she got really upset ( shes very caring and hates someone suffering or in pain) when i told her how i felt!

I am in a better mood today and i slept better last night after about an hour of lying there worrying about last minute things i have to get! But i am not grumpy about that, i enjoy getting last minute things, i hate the crowds but i dont mind knowing its that time of year and the things that i am getting are the last things i will have to ger for anyone! Still have to get the bf a last minute surprise and i have to get my parents, but apart from that thats everything i think lol!

I definately dont feel as stressed as i did over the past few weeks, a friend is coming for a christmas drink to our house tonight and i am looking forward to the catch up shes had a really bad year herself and her probs a lot worse than mine! I should be lucky i havnt had the year that she has had! We should have a good night though we normally do when were together! Must go and make my breakfast, i just hope i am not on here again in the next few days before christmas bawling my eyes out because something else has happened or i am feeling bad again! Fingers crossed!

Merry Christmas, Happy new year! Have a really great one!