Arsenic and Aspedistras

Labour Party Conference lacks charisma. The Labour Party held its annual conference in the old (now revamped), Manchester Railway Station this week. It was obvious that New Labour is not revamped. In fact they are the old New Labour. The conference was addressed by some of the most boring Labour Party members ever to grace a stage. On Tuesday Tony Blair's last speech in front of conference was an excellent review of "Tony's"time in office and it is clear that the PM is an excellent orator, as always. I was quite impressed by his views on the global big picture. He seems far-sighted and focussed on the problems of Britain and the World. Blair has charisma in buckets and it is easy to see how he has wooed Britain for 9 years. Speaking of charisma, can there be anyone less charismatic than "oor dour Gordon?" The Scot is damn good at his job and has done the country proud as Chancellor of the cash, but I sense his capabilities as a leader (especially coming after Blair), are being questioned in the conference committees as we speak. Brown is a powerful speaker and he says the right things but can he motivate the Brits into supporting New Labour? I doubt it. I digress a minute or so to speculate on the level of charisma extant in the Scottish people. Unless they are in their cups (ergo, after copious drams of the best Highland malt--when they are exceedingly charismatic--and will even break into song), the Scots are apt to be miserable sods---and we sympathise because they occupy a land with the most miserable weather in the UK--and they are not generally hale and hearty. I can only think of one or two Scots who have personalities larger than life: Sean Connery and Ewan McGregor. If there are more please let me know (See my next post!) Back to conference: That inspired gathering was also addressed by Alan Johnson, Secretary for Education (We are now extending our efforts into adult education---no matter that two weeks ago it was reported that 3 in 10 Primary school children are failing in the 3 Rs), and Headmistress Hewitt who recounted NHS successes ( She did not mention that funding for the NHS is severely depleted due to the fact that Tony and Gordon are spending one hundred million sterling a week in Afghanistan and Iraq.) We all hope, with prayers and rosary beads held tightly, that John Prescott will not address the conference. So far he has said little and is mainly ignored by most.Big John has probably sussed out most of the available 35 year olds sitting in the stalls and you can bet, in the best Manchester tradition, that he is not averse to organising a bit of hanky panky after conference hours. Bill Clinton arrived today and showed everyone what real charisma is all about. The man makes George Bush look like a lay preacher from Tennessee. Clinton, like Reagan before him, has a presence that defies explanation. Unless you call it "Super Charisma!" Roll on next year's conference. Will "Oor Gordon" be in charge? Permalink Edit Delete no comment Status: Published 2006-09-11 @ 17:47:01 by robswan Tags: This blog is closing!

I flew over Harare recently while on a trip from Egypt to South Africa. Even at 9000 m I could see the effects of President "Saviour of Africa" Mugabe's efforts to "clean up" his country. You cannot hide anything away from satellites but I realised that you cannot hide anything, period. It was obvious that there were areas outside Harare that seemed to contain roads but no housing. I looked down in wonder as I identified these roads then wondered where the houses were.

It struck me then that this must be the area that Mugabe had demolished in his clean up campaign to rid Harare of shacks and squatters and those who shame Zimbabwe by their "disgraceful habits."

 I'm not going to blog on and on about the "polecat" of Africa (I've been doing it for years---in fact Comrade Robert would come after me if his secret police could afford a plane ticket on one of his donated Chinese planes, or had the bullets to finish my nagging-- I'm going to send him a little message instead):

'The breadbasket has gone, Comrade, and you can only provide three things for your beloved people: Starvation, homelessness and ruthlessness. Cry, the beloved country.'(with acknowledgement to Alan Paton).

 

 

 

I'm sorry, it seems the Scots keep on coming, and I forgot about Adam.

 How on earth could I forget about dour wee Adam. God knows where he got the unScottish name but he is Minister of Defence (under our Des). I am reliably informed that Mr Ingram has no Jewish blood or Middle East connections but he is called Adam (perhaps his kin liked reading the bible),and he is a Scot and therefore a part of the ruling hierarchy.

Not another Scotsman, I hear you say. Unfortunately, Yes.

"Oh ah'm no awae te bide awa, oh ah'm no awa te lee ye.

ah'm no awa te bide awa, ah'll aye come back and see ye."

 

A Great Scottish song that can be transferred to modern times. I prefer to think of it as reflecting the thoughts of Scottish governors leaving their homes for duty in Westminster---as rulers of the Sassenach!

There's "Oor Gordon", a man who will rule soon--over all the English.

And there's Johnnie. Johnnie Reid, Home Secretary, no less. A fearless Scot with fighting spirit in his veins.

Desmond Browne is our laddie on the defence front. Nothing like a Scot to tighten up the Iraquis and the Afghans. After all, I hear the Afghans wore kilts at some time or other.

And look at how wee Dougie Alexander has progressed after some wee sod wanted to take a bottle of pop onto a plane. Minister of transport no less---and don't mess with Baby Face--he's as hard as the stone of Scone.

Alastair Darling (he of colored heed), is up there too. So, if we look at the big picture it seems that Scotland will rule again---first time since 1797.

Oh dear, I forgot about "Mingus"---Menzies to you English. Now there's an aristocrat, and he's leader of the Lib Dems. Keeps the pipes wailing in Westminster, does our Menzies. Pity ol "Ming" is not a "Charlie" but unfortunately, you have to understand, that the Scots are prone to alcoholic poisoning. They invented whisky and have to promote it one way or another.

 We are not finished: We need a King. Who better than the unproclaimed king, Sir Sean Connery. That proud knight will run a sword through Blair and throw custard pies at Ruth Kelly.

Sshhh. Do not tell a soul. Scotland has taken over England and it was the quietest war ever!