5-day Fast & Pray

Well onto Day 3 and I'm feeling pretty good to be honest.  Not really that hungry at the moment, although had a few belly rumbles last night before I went to bed.  Hunger is always there of course, but it is definitely at a stage where I can live with it for now.  I do remember in the past that day 4 has been the toughest, when I start to feel faint and dizzy, so I have a supply of smoothies if that starts to happen.  I would also normally have a couple of alcoholic drinks tomorrow, being as my football team are playing abroad and I'll be watching on TV at home, but of course this would be ridiculously foolish being as by that time I will be nearly 100 hours without food.  I'll do without as I'm sure a couple of beers would just make me ill.

I can definitely hear God's voice more clearly than I have done in a long time.  Not heard anything on the big issues yet but God's timing is better than mine so I can trust Him on that. Had a church meeting last night with a couple of hundred other women, led by one of my church's female leaders.  She spoke about some of the lies that we believe about God, about ourselves and others, recognising them and overcoming them.I need to spend more time looking at the list to see what God wants to say to me.  I could probably find most of the 30 or so lies have been part of my life at some point but I want to work out what I need to be tackling now in order for my life to change.

After being woken a few times in the night by my stomach growling loudy (no joke) I actually don't feel too bad today.  I had a milky drink first thing and that has at least stopped the belly rumbling.  In the past I have actually absent-mindedly forgotten that I am not meant to be eating and have taken a bite of something or another before I remember and stop, but the helpful thing this time is that I don't actually have any food in the house really, so I can't make mistakes like that.

 I have a feeling that the cat food I feed to my cats twice a day is going to be looking mighty inviting by Friday though :)

I already feel a bit closer to God than before even though I'm yet to spend a huge chunk of time praying or reading my bible or worshipping.  I think that just the act of obedience helps.  The hunger certainly helps me to remember Him!

I have some smoothies being delivered in the next couple of hours so will be getting a little sustenance soon.  I have a history of feeling faint after a few days of fasting so I hope that this will stop that from happening.  We'll see how I go.

I haven't made any entries so far today about how the fast has gone because it is only now (about the time I normally eat my main evening meal) that I have started to feel really hungry. 

I feel hungry but not painfully so.  From my past experience I know that this is easier if you do it with other people both to support you and hold you accountable.  Although quite a few people from my church are fasting this week, I don't actually know who is and who isn't so I decided to write the blog to help keep me accountable.  I really feel that I need to do this, for the sake of my relationship with God most of all.  I know that this is the crux of the problem, and the reason I find myself with so many questions in the first place so my first priority is spending some time just reading my bible and talking to God.  That is tonights task!

I am at a point in my life when I have a lot of questions and seem to be hearing no answers for a number of reasons.  I find my life gets full and I am easily distracted from listening to God and spending time in His presence.  By fasting I can use the time I would normally eat more constructively by praying. 

I lost my father to suicide recently and this has thrown a huge spanner into the works of my life. I don't feel that I have nearly come to terms with this loss or the many complicated things that come with it.

I am also at a huge crossroads in terms of career.  I have finished studying and have no idea of what sort of job I want.  I need to start earning money as of about a month ago and haven't been, so I would like to hear some direction from God and hopefully come across some ideas and opportunities that I may have missed previously.  I need money to come in asap so that I can pay my rent/bills etc.  Put it this way, the fast has come at a good time because otherwise I probably wouldn't have been able to afford to eat this week.

Since my dad's suicide and, if I'm honest, a while before then, I haven't been feeling very close to God and have struggled spending time one-on-one with Him and reading my bible.  I want this week to be a turning point in this regard too.

I am taking part in my church's week of prayer and fasting.  Starting today, Mon 29th Sept, I won't eat any food until Friday evening.  The last thing I ate was a sandwich at about 7pm last night.  I'm not going to be too legalistic about the food thing, but the most that I plan to allow myself is a smoothie a day along with plenty of other fluids of course. I don't want to make myself ill after all!

I have previously done two 5-day fasts several years ago and a couple of 3-day once since then, but this is the longest amount of time I'm trying for for at least five years. 
I'm writing this blog as a way of charting my progress, both physically and spiritually.

I'm not that great at fasting for a day and find it much easier to do a longer period of time.  I think when I know that I have a while to go, my mind can cope with my body's messages of hunger much more easily, wheras I struggle to fast a single day because my mind knows that it won't be long until I can eat again and the hunger pains feel more acute. I enjoy the challenge, although I don't enjoy the actual feeling of hunger one bit :) Of course the idea is that the hunger spurs me on to pray so I need to feel it somewhat otherwise this is a pointless exercise.

My experiences of several day-long fasts in the past have been unequivically positive.  I feel so much closer to God and able to hear Him when I fast.  It isn't a way of 'twisting God's arm' as some people have remarked in the past.  As if I could do that? He is God after all.  It is more a way of helping myself focus and sacrificing comfort to that end.  I have seen some pretty big answers to prayer as a result of fasting in the past.